First, read the following post Traylor wrote if your secret has been outed.

Let’s look at 5 crucial steps that can help you begin to walk the recovery path toward true healing and genuine freedom.

  1. Talk to your pastor or spiritual advisor. As soon as possible, get with your pastor or spiritual advisor and get the secrets out in the open. James 5:16 instructs us to “confess our sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed.” Your pastor can help you determine the best course of action to do a full-disclosure with your spouse. It is recommended that this be done with a counselor present to help walk a couple through this difficult process.
  2. Find a good therapist. Trust me, you are not going to be able to figure out why you have done the things that you have done on your own. A good therapist can help you dive into your personal story and uncover places that are wounded and in need of healing. We often overlook the impact of emotional pain in our lives, but it is usually underlying pain that we are dealing with in unhealthy and destructive ways.
  3. Register for an intensive. Everything that I mentioned in point #2 applies here, but, instead of unpacking things with a therapist an hour at a time, an intensive gives you an extended period of time, without interruptions, to plow up much-needed ground. We offer a 4-day intensive for men called EMBARK. CLICK HERE for more information.
  4. Find a support group with other men that are struggling with sexual brokenness. Route 1520 offers grace-based community groups and helps equip churches to start recovery groups for men to begin connecting at weakness instead of impressing with
  5. Listen to these podcasts. On our weekly podcast, Undone Redone, my wife Melody and I share openly and honestly from our story of brokenness and restoration. You can find our show on iTunes or Stitcher Radio. Look for these episodes that will offer perspective to where you are right now.